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Time In (and out) of the Eddy

7/18/2016

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PictureFD WV Family - Photo by Jam
I just experienced an amazing life changing week.  The funny thing is, it isn’t even a change I realized I needed in my life.  I spent a week with a group of amazing individuals on a First Descents FD1 experience.  FD1 is the original First Descents (FD) experience.  I was able to attend a multi-day adventure centered around white-water kayaking on the New River Gorge in West Virginia with an amazing group full of fellow young adult cancer survivors and thrivers.  

I am deeply vested in multiple cancer organizations, each meets a different need I have. I advocate with an amazing organization, Cervivor.  My family meets locally with support groups at a great facility, The Cancer Support Community. Both of these organizations that I participate with are intimately important to me.  I don’t know where I would be today without Cervivor and the CSC.  I didn’t know if there was enough space in my heart to let in another group.  I didn’t know I needed to open up to another group.  I thought I was totally fine.  I was wrong.  FD filled a void I didn’t even realize I had. 

I was desperately missing out on authentic interactions with other young adults who have had experience with cancer. I didn't even know that it was something I wanted, I thought I was completely fine. I found out about FD by reading someone's blog while researching cervical cancer.  One of the amazing experiences she had before she passed away was attending a FD1 experience.  I immediately researched FD and applied.  I honestly just wanted to go out and do something cool, I never imagined that I would develop such a bond with the people. I was thrilled when it came time to find out if I would get to attend an event and embrace their motto of #outlivingit.  I thought it would be a lot of fun to learn to do something new and as a bonus I would get to meet some other people.  I never imagined what I would take away from the week.  If you know me personally, I am not a crier.  I cried more after the final evening event at FD than I have my entire cancer experience combined.  I wasn't ready to go back "to the real world."  I'm still not ready. I'm here though.  Moving forward and working to embrace my life, working to be out living it!  

PictureTeam Regulators
Adventure!  The week was filled with amazing adventures.  We started our first day getting outfitted by our fabulous river guides:  Utah, Shark Attack, and Snak Pak. When we made it on the water, we started out by learning the basic moves in a kayak.  We learned to go straight and then jumped into learning how to do a wet exit, or wet release, from the kayak.  That basically means we had to flip ourselves over and be able to escape quickly.  Once we proved we could do that it was time to speed up the learning progress.  We had to see how far we could ferry into the current without having to turn into it.  I tried, I flipped, I escaped.  I did it again (without flipping), and again, and again.  The following days on the river were nothing short of amazing.  The entire FD Family did AMAZING!  We broke into groups so that a river guide would be close by at all times, I was a part of Team Regulators:  Snak Pak (our guide), Trips, Hurricane, and myself (Left Eye, we all get nicknames at FD) were able to so many amazing things together.  We pushed each other past what I imagined I was capable.  We kayaked miles through the New River Gorge on rapids up to class 3+.  We would get to play around and go backwards down the rapids, have contests to see who could go the furthest without putting a paddle down in the rapids, and pick our own route (always the craziest route that we were warned about).

PictureNew River Gorge - Photo by Jam
I was the first one in the water on our second day.  I was also the first person to flip into the water that day.  Those rocks just jump out at you!  That is okay though, we ran the same stretch of river again and I was able to redeem myself by missing the rock the second time around, even if that rock is now named "Left Eye's Rock"!  There are so many amazing experiences on the water I could talk all night about them.  One time I thought I was for sure going over but I somehow managed to correct myself by catching my hand on an invisible rock under the water and shifting my hips.  Snak Pak looked at me and said "I was more scared for you then you were, you didn't look worried at all!"  That pretty much encompassed my spirit on the water.  I knew I could get out if something bad happened so I wasn't going to let fear slow me down!  Our third day on the water was amazing.  We visited a hidden waterfall.  We bonded and became family even more.  On our final day on the water it was by far the most amazing. We got to jump into the water off of some awesome rocks. Thanks to Utah's encouragement, I learned how to flip over inside my kayak and do a T-rescue, this is nothing short of a miracle for me. I normally hold my nose to even swim so to flip calmly upside down in the middle of the river and wait for another kayak to come up close enough for me to grab on and shift my hips to flip upright was one of the most amazing feelings! I wanted to do it again and again once I figured it out.  I am pretty sure Trips and I scared some guides when we decided to do a T-rescue in the middle of the river without anyone near us.  We weren't worried. I got my head up and was ready to shift my hips!  The final day was also graduation day, we each got to do a rapid individually for graduation while the guides and staffers cheered us on from the sidelines.  I cannot even describe the feeling.  I went down the stretch of rapids thinking about how on the first day I couldn't even get into the current at first without flipping and here I was going down this amazing stretch of rapids independently.  After graduation rapid we hit Surprise Rapids. They told us about them and how crazy they were, we had the option to opt out.  No way was I doing that.  Team Regulators was the first team with hands up to go through the meat of Surprise Rapids. Utah told me he saw me flip over twice before finally making it out of my kayak when I was in the midst of Surprise Rapids.  There is apparently video footage coming so I promise to share that as soon as it is available!  Needless to say, it was a crazy rapid.  You first made it through a large wave then dropped into a hole to hit the monster wave.  Looking back at the pictures I realized Trips and I hit Surprise together.  When I did my flips and escaped I was disappointed at first, then I came out of the rapid and saw Trips floating too and I immediately started laughing and smiling.  Then everyone else came floating after too. That wave was intense, amazing, and if I could have done it again immediately I absolutely would have. None of us made it through, our entire group was laughing and smiling even though we had just all had to emergency exit our kayaks!

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Surprise Rapid - New River Gorge - Photos by Jam
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PictureHawk's Nest - Photo by Jam
Magic. Our time spent off the water was nothing short of magical.  Even our time spent traveling to and from locations was great. I traveled with Pedro, one of our Camp Leads.  We rocked out the best music around with many throwbacks to the 90s.  We did daily "van selfies" and made lifelong friends during the travel time.

We spent a day "off the water" and our entire group headed out for a visit at Hawk's Nest and Mills Creek where we took an airtram ride down the mountain, hiked up, and spent the afternoon playing in the waterfall.  

After the waterfall fun, our group split up and some of us went to visit the Mystery Hole, if you don't know what it is sorry.  First rule of Mystery Hole is you don't talk about the Mystery Hole.  We ended our afternoon off by visiting Fayetteville.

Each night we were greeted by our amazing chef and sous chef with the best tasting healthy food I have ever had.  The amazing BissyLou and SouShee Not Fired were rockstars!  FD even has a cookbook with amazing recipes available.  They would come out to the porch and just make you feel at home.  We would have time together as a group to be spent as we wished.  There were many impromptu games such as volleyball, tetherball, corn hole, and I even convinced many of them to play Scattegories one night.  We would finish our nights together with a campfire and each one was nothing short of amazing.

Although the time on the water in the rapids was amazing (I'm looking for a kayak now) what I took away from my FD1 experience is a family.  I took away the FD Family Love.  I will never forget the amazing things I was able to experience and I can't wait to experience more FD and get involved.  I am in it for life now!

My heart absolutely grew while I was in West Virginia.  It grew enough to hold all the participants, volunteers, camp leads, and guides. However, it also feels like it broke off into pieces too. As I was reading through the posts by my amazing FD Family I read one that really spoke to me, a quote found and shared by the amazing BissyLou:  You will never be completely at home again, because part of your heart will always be elsewhere. That is the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place. It is well worth the price, I think. I really couldn't have explained my feelings better than this.  There was most definitely enough room in my heart for my FD Family, it just means my heart is spread across many miles.  FD Love to my FD Family.  Until next time. XOXO.

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The Hidden Waterfall
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Eddy Flower - Photo by Jam
1 Comment
Hurricane
7/19/2016 07:16:21 pm

The FD experience couldn't be documented more accurately. I have been trying to tell my family and friends how amazing the trip was, but my stories always seem to fall short. Thank you, Left Eye, for your amazing insight. Love you and my FD family forever!

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    Author

    Erica is a 32 year old cervical cancer advocate who is out living cancer for the third time. When she isn’t advocating for cervical cancer and HPV awareness as a Cervivor Ambassador, she previously oversaw the STEM program at the school where she was an educator; she now helps coordinate the robotics program. Erica enjoys spending time with her husband and son in their Indianapolis neighborhood, as well as pursuing new and adventurous hobbies. She can most recently be found fawning over kayaks and daydreaming of returning to whitewater kayaking with First Descents, an organization for young adults impacted by cancer. 

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