Tuesday morning I boarded a plane in Indianapolis. I was heading for Boston so that I could meet up with another Cervivor for support and to go say goodbye to my friend and Cervivor Sister Jillian. As I boarded the plane a lot of thoughts were going through my head. This was the first time I had been to a memorial service for a friend since I was 19 and lost a friend to a car accident. This time was going to be different, I was saying goodbye to a peer that I have become bonded to over the past few years with a common connection: cervical cancer. Jillian was an amazing-loving person. She wanted women to know that cervical cancer wasn't the easy cancer, I can hear her saying now in my mind "it isn't fucking easy!" We would discuss treatments, funeral arrangements, disability, and what it was like to have young children and know you are going to die. We have those things in common. Sometimes we would discuss nothing at all, or hilarious things like her being worried her "toots" would keep me up :-)
I was able to travel to Boston to properly say goodbye to Jillian, if there is such a thing as a proper goodbye. I was honored to be able to speak and let her family and friends know that Jillian's story would live on. She will continue to make a difference. The Cervivor Community will not forget Jillian and we will make sure that her story is not forgotten.
I honestly am still processing the fact that Jillian is gone. It is hard to imagine that I can't pop onto messenger and run a new treatment option past her to see if she thinks it is something worth trying. I can't imagine never seeing her at another Cervivor event. Being her roommate was hilarious and fabulous in DC. I am grateful for the time I had with her.
I woke up at around 2:00 this morning in the hotel room and I turned on my phone, I wish I hadn't. I turned it on to find that another Cervivor Sister passed away. Late last night Lisa passed away. I quickly found myself crying alone in the hotel room. It is just too much, too fast. I just talked to Lisa on messenger on Saturday to start planning another visit to northern Indiana to visit her. It had been a few months since I had been to her house and it was time to have a face to face chat time again. Saturday. I just talked to her Saturday. The last thing she said was "how is your trial going", it is amazing to me that even in the final days this is where the conversation turned. Lisa and I had similar stories as well. Her story will not go with her, the Cervivor Community will continue to share it.
That is really all I can write for now. Like I said, it is all too much too soon. Too much to process. I am going to go for a walk, catch a plane back to Indiana, and continue to try and process the loss of these two Cervivor Sisters. These Cervivors who both should know, your story has made a difference. Your story will continue to make a difference.
Please take some time today and read the stories of these two amazing women:
cervivor.org/Jillian
cervivor.org/lisa-3
I was able to travel to Boston to properly say goodbye to Jillian, if there is such a thing as a proper goodbye. I was honored to be able to speak and let her family and friends know that Jillian's story would live on. She will continue to make a difference. The Cervivor Community will not forget Jillian and we will make sure that her story is not forgotten.
I honestly am still processing the fact that Jillian is gone. It is hard to imagine that I can't pop onto messenger and run a new treatment option past her to see if she thinks it is something worth trying. I can't imagine never seeing her at another Cervivor event. Being her roommate was hilarious and fabulous in DC. I am grateful for the time I had with her.
I woke up at around 2:00 this morning in the hotel room and I turned on my phone, I wish I hadn't. I turned it on to find that another Cervivor Sister passed away. Late last night Lisa passed away. I quickly found myself crying alone in the hotel room. It is just too much, too fast. I just talked to Lisa on messenger on Saturday to start planning another visit to northern Indiana to visit her. It had been a few months since I had been to her house and it was time to have a face to face chat time again. Saturday. I just talked to her Saturday. The last thing she said was "how is your trial going", it is amazing to me that even in the final days this is where the conversation turned. Lisa and I had similar stories as well. Her story will not go with her, the Cervivor Community will continue to share it.
That is really all I can write for now. Like I said, it is all too much too soon. Too much to process. I am going to go for a walk, catch a plane back to Indiana, and continue to try and process the loss of these two Cervivor Sisters. These Cervivors who both should know, your story has made a difference. Your story will continue to make a difference.
Please take some time today and read the stories of these two amazing women:
cervivor.org/Jillian
cervivor.org/lisa-3
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