Although I am on vacation from work, this week is a "crazy cancer week!"  In addition for preparing my blog for #CCAM I have a lot to fit in before the end of the year.  Yesterday I had the fabulous experience of being interviewed with Fox59 for a cervical cancer awareness story.  I also went to the hospital to have my blood draw to ensure I can get my Avastin this week.  Today is my PET scan and tomorrow I have a surgery for my stent exchange followed by my Avastin treatment.

Today is the day I have been impatiently waiting for.  It is PET scan day!  Let me tell you, scanxiety is a real thing!  Starting on December 23rd, or Christmas Eve Eve as I've been calling it, I started having pain in my right hip.  It has been persistent, no matter which type of shoes I'm wearing and what my activity level is like.  As much as I hate it, having cancer makes you hyper-aware of your body and in turn causes your mind to determine that there must be more cancer when something seems out of sorts.  I know I had a spot on my right hip at the last scan, crossing my fingers that this hip pain is just a coincidence.

Scan day, scan day, scan day!  I am so thankful that today is PET scan day and I will soon get the results to see if the Avastin is doing its job and keeping the cancer in check!  Today is the day, however, I won't see my oncologist until Monday.  I'm hoping to be able and get some information via phone tomorrow but I'm not sure if I will be able to.  So, over the next few days I will be trying to subdue my scanxiety while I wait for results by doing other things.  It is, after all, still my vacation time!

On Christmas a friend of mine posted on Facebook asking individuals the following question "what is the thing that you wish for most this holiday?"  I reflected a moment before I answered this.  Most people would think, well, just wish you never had cancer, easy right?  Well, no.  It isn't that easy.  Cancer has changed my life in immeasurable ways.  Of course, many of the ways cancer has changed my life would be considered negative and are continuously challenging.  However, cancer has given me things as well.  I answered the question on Facebook by simply saying I wished we could cure the cancer I am still battling and made a mental note that I needed to reflect more on this and write about it.  I did not wish that I had never had the cancer in the first place.  I am sure you are thinking "is she crazy, what could cancer have possibly given you?"  Well, lets take a look at some positive ways cancer has changed my life.

1. A Strengthened Spousal Bond - My initial cancer diagnosis further cemented the bond between my, now, husband and myself.  At the time I was diagnosed with cancer the first time we were in a long distance relationship making things work.  We knew we were in love, however, realistically we hadn't worked any of the logistics out of actually making everything work.  During my diagnosis and treatment he was such an amazing support.  I knew if we made it through that experience we could make it through anything.  Two more times with cancer and a wedding later, I still feel the same way.  He is the love of my life and I couldn't ask for a better partner!
2. Dedication to my Son - I don't know a single parent who wouldn't say he/she is dedicated to their child, however, a cancer diagnosis changes that dedication.  I am now dedicated to making sure Wylee fully experiences life.  I never wanted my cancer to impact him, I wanted his life to be "normal" as I write this I realize that was crazy to think.  Of course my cancer is going to impact him.  I just have to dedicate my time to ensure that the impact is a as positive experience as possible for Wylee.  I try to do things with him which will leave a lasting impression.  I try to make his gifts experiences, like Florida for his birthday last year.  I take him to a cancer support group to help him to cope with and understand what is going on.  I take time to do the little things with him that really matter, like a movie night even on a school night.  I love my son and my cancer diagnosis has made my dedication even stronger and more purposeful. 
3. Relationships - Cancer can do interesting things to your relationships.  Cancer will show you who your friends and family are and it can also add to your circle.  Cancer has greatly added strong relationships to my circle.  I found an ongoing friendship with many people, both those with and without cancer.  I connected with so many of the 6 South nurses on the oncology floor of my hospital, found strength and support through Cervivor, have made several friends through an online Facebook support group:  The Teal Ladies, met wonderful people through the Cancer Support Community here in Indianapolis, and many more people.  We have found another "family" of support through my friend Cindy who I originally had scheduled to do boudoir pictures through her business Cindy Johnson Boudoir Photography for my wedding before I was diagnosed a second time.  She has never missed a beat always being there for me and offering to help in anyway she can since then.  It is amazing the relationships I have made through this cancer battle.
4. Perspective - An ongoing cancer battle gives me perspective.  Cancer has taught me to let go of so many small things.  I find myself mentally weighing things differently in my mind.  I reflect on my own mortality and I try to give the gift of experiences to my son, husband, family, and friends.   Cancer has also given me perspective on how making decisions should be purposeful.  Do I want to spend the day at home catching up on the DVR?  That is fine!  Do I want to go out kayaking and making memories?  That is awesome too!  Each day with cancer brings more perspective.
5. Humor - Humor is one thing which has helped me cope with this cancer diagnosis.  There is definitely the ongoing "cancer card" joke within my family and social circles.  I totally recognize that humor is a coping mechanism which doesn't work for everyone, however, it works for me.
6. Purpose - Cancer has added one specific purpose to my life:  advocacy.  I want to save other women from ever having this diagnosis and I want women to have had this diagnosis to never feel alone.  I've began to utilize this blog to help me with my advocacy.  You can look forward to a blog post each day of the month in January due to the fact that January is Cervical Cancer Awareness Month, or, #CCAM as you will see it tagged.  I encourage each of you to share at least one post per week.  Seeing the number of views I have on my blog we could share so much information if each of you just chose one post per week and shared it via social media.

Although cancer has given me these things, this isn't a path other women have to follow.  I see friends dying of this terrible cancer, others having continuous treatment, and many dealing with the mental and physical aftermath of a cancer diagnosis. My unrealistic hope is that no one would ever have to go through this diagnosis.  My realistic hope is that my story can impact enough people to save at least one person from having to deal with a cervical cancer diagnosis.  

The Cancer Support Community in Indy is fantastic!  I am so happy I took the steps to embrace this facility.  Not only do they offer support groups for cancer patients they also involve the entire family with groups available for children and caregivers.  In addition to these support groups there are also many other great opportunities such as supper club, cooking class, crafting time, yoga, and much more.  A few weeks ago there was a fantastic Christmas party with a packed house!

​Last night I took my son to the first ever Christmas movie night at the CSC.  The CSC provided the movies, popcorn, and fresh baked cookies.  It was fabulous!  Wylee had been looking forward to it for weeks and he was not disappointed.  So, I urge you, if you have any connection with cancer please take the time to check out the CSC in Indy. 

January is almost here!  January happens to be Cervical Cancer Awareness Month!  I am so excited and I have been eagerly preparing for #CCAM.  I am taking the time, doing the research, and planning to put out thirty one blog posts during #CCAM.  That's right!  One for each day!

So, what can you do to help me?  Two things:

1. Take less than one minute to complete this survey about your well woman exam history.
2. If you have any questions you'd like answered, leave me a comment so I can work to answer them.

If you could prevent just one person from getting cancer, wouldn't you do it?  Well, guess what.  You can!  Knowledge is the key to preventing cervical cancer and advocacy is the best way to spread that knowledge!  Are you wondering what you can do?

1.  FACEBOOK - Use Facebook to share accurate and relevant information.  A great place to locate this information is via the Cervivor Facebook page.  Please like the Cervivor page and share posts!

2.  HASHTAG - Use a hashtag in your posts or writing to help make your content searchable.  Do you have questions?  Here is a great resource to help you perfect your hashtagging skills!  A few key hashtags would be #cervivor #cervicalcancer #HPV #endwomenscancer #knowledgeispower #CCAM #tealelfs

3.  TWITTER - Use Twitter to tweet out important information.  Looking for some great information?  Follow @IAmCervivor and @tealelfs on Twitter.  Don't forget to hashtag!

4.  TALK - Talk to your friends, your neighbor, your family, even strangers in the grocery store if you are comfortable.  It is important to know what your message is.  Everyone's message is tailored to his/her experience but the central idea is the same.  We can eradicate cervical cancer!  You could talk about the importance of the HPV vaccine, screening tests, concerning symptoms, and/or well women exams.  Your voice is the tool of knowledge!

5.  MEDIA - Reach out to the media to help spread the word about cervical cancer awareness.  Cervical Cancer Awareness Month is officially January.  Let's start off 2016 with a bang and get people talking about cervical cancer!

6.  QUESTION- Don't be afraid to ask questions.  If you are passionate about this cause and you aren't sure where to get started, reach out and ask.  I'd be happy to talk to you as would several Cervivor Ambassadors I know.

7.  SHARE - If you find a blog post informative, empowering, or inspiring please share it!  I make all my posts here at TealELFS: Living Life public and I love it when you use them as a tool for advocacy.

8.  WATCH - Watch the documentary Someone You Love;  The HPV Epidemic.  Talk about it with anyone you are able to.  This documentary reveals a very real concern.

9.  SCREEN - Sponsor a screening for the documentary Someone You Love:  The HPV Epidemic.  Did you find the video especially impactful?  Do you think your friends, family, or another organization would benefit from viewing the documentary.  There is an option to host a screening.  I'd love to coordinate with you to get some experts at a screening to do a Q&A session in correlation with the video.

10. DONATE - Are you not comfortable talking with other individuals about cervical cancer, but you still want to help?  You can help our advocacy by making a donation to Cervivor.

​I am so thankful to have so many fabulous friends. It has been a rough "cancer week" basically all due to me getting inside my own head and letting things get to me.  Yesterday my awesome secret Santa delivered my gifts and I couldn't have been more thrilled with what I found.  Not only did she get all of my favorite things but she got some awesome things for me to do with Wylee (uhm, hello fabulous Lego Book and Legos to build!)  She also made me a cross stitch ornament which will absolutely be finding itself on my wall!

Today my friend Cindy shared a video she created earlier this year and I wanted to share it with you.  I am so thankful to have the support of so many!  Please take a moment to check out the video here, and if you are ever in Indianapolis and needing the best boudoir photographer around check her out at Cindy Johnson Boudoir Photography.

During the past two years, outside of family, friends, and work there have been two constants in my life:  cancer and robots.  This morning at 7:00 while I was driving to a robotics competition I took some time in the quiet to reflect upon the past two years.  I was lucky enough to start coaching the VEX IQ robotics team along with Stefanie Ritter and the executive director of my school two years ago, the year VEX IQ was introduced.  We started the year with just two hand selected students.  These students qualified for the state competition and we added two additional students for a total of four students for our first year of VEX IQ robotics.  Our team advanced to the VEX IQ World Competition known as "Worlds" to everyone familiar with the event.  During the season I went through life happily thinking I was in remission.  Little did I know that the cancer was back and growing.

I was diagnosed with my first recurrence the day before we were set to fly to Anaheim, California.  I was hospitalized that day.  I remember it vividly, calling to tell the other coaches I was in the hospital and I didn't know what they were going to do.  Waiting to see if the gynecologic oncologist would be able to see me.  When it became clear he wasn't going to make it in to see me I asked what the plan would be.  I told them, "if he isn't going to operate tomorrow you need to let me out of the hospital now and I am going to take my robotics students to California."  Well, they released me and I had the amazing experience, along with the other coaches, of taking our first ever VEX IQ team to the first ever Worlds for VEX IQ!  It was a great event and we even got to take our students to Disney!  It was amazing to see students from inner-city Indianapolis, some of whom had never been out of the city, boarding a plane, traveling across the country, and competing with students from around the world.  You have to see it to believe how massive the event is.

When we returned from California my treatments were fast tracked.  However, there was one constant during my treatments.  I always made it to robotics.  I scheduled my chemo sessions around robotics practices and competitions.  I worked from the hospital bed, at times, to help prepare for tournaments.  It all paid off when we had one elementary and one middle school team which qualified for the second annual VEX IQ Worlds held in Louisville, Kentucky.

This morning as I drove into the first robotics competition of our season I thought about how robotics and cancer has been intertwined into my story.  When I opened up my Timehop today I realized another way robotics and cancer has intertwined in my life.  Today's date is special and I didn't even realize it.  One year ago today was my final radiation treatment for my second round with cervical cancer.  I am amazed it has been a year.  I am disheartened that the cancer is back and we don't have a plan to rid the cancer from my body.  However, I am thrilled with my ability to continue living my life.  I am thrilled to have not only the constants of family, friends, and work but also to have the constant of robotics through my extended fight with cervical cancer.

If you are wondering, this year we had over 60 students try out for our robotics teams, which we had to narrow down to 13 competition students (with more students at the club and tutoring level).  We have added a coach for our competition team and we are now running four teams.  Quite a jump from our first year, but we are still so excited about it!

Tonight was a special night my family has been looking forward to for weeks.  Tonight was the annual Christmas celebration at the Cancer Support Community in Indianapolis.  I coordinated weekends so that Wylee could attend, he loves going to the Cancer Support Community.  I started going to this center due to the fact that they offer a  monthly children's group for kids who's parents have cancer.  I just felt like it would be a great tool for Wylee.  Little did I realize I would benefit from having a time to meet with other women who have cancer.  It is amazing how relevant topics can relate to women no matter which type of cancer it is they experienced.

Tonight was a full house!  There were people parking in adjacent business parking lots due to the fact that there were so many attendees.  I couldn't believe it.  This was our first experience at what my son has dubbed "Cancer Christmas" and I couldn't have asked for anything better.  It is a powerful feeling to sit in a room with so many individuals who have been touched by cancer.  The Cancer Support Community organized dinner, gifts, kid crafts, live music, and even a photo booth put on by Cathy's Smile.

In the beginning I wasn't sure how Wylee would feel about going to group but he has totally embraced the experience.  He loves the kid's room and I think he would go there just for fun nightly if I would let him.  We got there tonight at 6:00 and it was past 8:00 before I could convince him it was time to go.  As we left he said "Mommy, will you have cancer still for the next Cancer Christmas, because I want to come back?!"  I was sure to tell him that I was sure even if we were able to get this cancer under control they would let us attend.

The Cancer Support Community has definitely been an amazing experience for our family and we plan to keep coming back.

As I sit here, having a movie night with my son, surrounded by the stuffed animals and blankets we received as Christmas gifts at Cancer Christmas I am feeling so thankful I am a part of this community.  I urge you, if you have cancer or have a family member with cancer to check out the Cancer Support Community here in Indianapolis.  If you take the time to embrace it, you won't regret it.