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When you want chemo but can't get it...

11/30/2016

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Do you see anything wrong with this picture?  No, not the fabulous uterus that is in the picture.  The pump is not turned on!  I didn't get my chemo and I am so irritated about it!

One thing that a non-cancer patient might not understand happened to me today.  Today should have been my 5th round of chemo (this time around) and I wasn't able to get my chemo.  I wasn't able to get my chemo because my counts were too low.  My counts were too low because I get chemo.  It is like a never ending cycle here.  Some people might think "oh, no chemo that is good it means you will feel better."  However, that isn't the reality.  What I think when I hear I can't have chemo because my counts are too low is now what is happening with the cancer?


So, what is happening with the cancer?  Is the cancer growing while I am in a delay for treatment?  This is something that I worry about on a daily basis, however, this will be in the forefront of my brain until I get back into get my chemo.  Unfortunately we can't just try again tomorrow.  That would be an option normally, however, insurance makes it so that is not possible.  My company is changing insurance policies and the new policy starts, you guessed it, tomorrow.  They don't automatically approve chemo and we have to wait for approval before we can move forward.  So I am playing the waiting game now and hoping that I can get chemo next Wednesday.

How did you feel if you had to delay a treatment?  Were you upset and scared like I am or were you relieved that you did not have go to through a day of treatment and the normal side effects?
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Results Update - PET Scan

11/22/2016

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I know it has been a while since I have done any posting, especially an update post.  I had a PET scan a few weeks ago and I did receive the results.  I am not quite sure why I haven't shared them out.  The results were good, by my oncologist standards.

I started out this treatment regimen with twelve spots of cancer.  At the time of the PET scan I had completed three rounds of Carbo/Taxol chemotherapy.  I have six scheduled as of right now.  The scan results showed that eleven of the spots had responded to treatment and are getting smaller.  The other spot, next to my rectum, has not yet responded to treatment.  None of the spots had gotten bigger and there were no additional spots.  This is all great news!

I think that I have been having a difficult time with the results.  I wanted some areas to be gone.  I wanted a more aggressive response.  I just wanted more.  I put on my happy face when people asked about the results and said "they are good, nothing new and most spots are shrinking."  I said it, on loop.  I tried to convince myself that it was enough.  I am still trying to convince myself weeks later.

My amazing oncologist did give me positive news.  I do not have to stop chemo at the end of the six scheduled rounds.  He said there are three reasons that we would stop chemo:  firstly, if I were too sick to continue; secondly, if it were to stop working; thirdly, if all the spots were to be gone.  So, we continue chemo.  We will do another scan in January and see how it is going.

Moving forward I am going to try and look at the glass as half full.  The chemo is doing its job.  The chemo has stopped the cancer from spreading or growing.  The cancer is shrinking.  These are all positive things.

January is coming, Cervical Cancer Awareness Month.  My advocacy continues, my life continues, and my treatment continues.  I am so thankful to have a doctor who continues to be concerned with my quality and quantity of life.

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    Author

    Erica is a 32 year old cervical cancer advocate who is out living cancer for the third time. When she isn’t advocating for cervical cancer and HPV awareness as a Cervivor Ambassador, she previously oversaw the STEM program at the school where she was an educator; she now helps coordinate the robotics program. Erica enjoys spending time with her husband and son in their Indianapolis neighborhood, as well as pursuing new and adventurous hobbies. She can most recently be found fawning over kayaks and daydreaming of returning to whitewater kayaking with First Descents, an organization for young adults impacted by cancer. 

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